The dream.

waking up in a pool of my own sweat,
leaves traces of what i dreamt left over in my mind.
I see a meadow with flowers as far as eyes sight,
and just beyond that meadow was clouds of black, and shades of red.
An omen i breathe.
Needle like pains trail up my spine and neck leaving me frozen.
My heart is racing..could what i have dreamt been a forshadowing affect?..
Like the end of seasons, or the beginning of the next chapter in human life..
My eyes strain to pull the pieces together.. to force them to fit.
And yet..
I am left with no answers.. i am left to stare at the night sky with questions of my uncertainty..
and live with it...
We are here...
and here we are found...
and yet why has none found us..
and why have we not yet found them..

Being Alone (2005)

The air was cold,

Everything around was blurred,

I sit on the dock thinking, looking out to the rising sun..

Wondering.(silence)"a pause..What made me better..

How did i win the heart of someone as perfect as you..

But now that i have you, I dont want to lose you..

I couldnt bare the silence of an empty house forever lost without your presence..

Id die an old lady..alone..and filled with sorrow..

It would be my fault if i lost you..

My love, your everything..you've helped me through the darkest hour..

I leaned against the peer now..(sighes)..

you face a smooth silouette in my eyes..

a smile runs across my lips..

and i turn to see you there waiting for me..

I never truly have to worry about being alone..



Feel?(2005)

How does it feel to hurt?
Not from a cut or a bruise, but deep inside.
How does it feel to ache in your heart?, and throughout your entire body.
To cry so bad that you can never stop.
How does it feel to be restless, tossing and turning, until you cant even lay down.
To walk past someone you care about and be scared to death in their presense.
To wear a fake smile, and fake laugh, but your eyes are empty..
How does it feel?, everyone always asks..
Everyday, everyhour..this is how i feel..

Tears(2006)

what are these things streaming from my eyes..

They are so beautiful but they dont feel so deep down inside..

Why do you only come out when im hurting...

Why do i see you so often now adays..

You use to visit me only when i needed you..

Do i really need you so often now..

Why does my heart ache everytime you fall from my eyes..

I dont want to see you now..

Let my heart mend..let me be happy.

You make me weak..

so leave me be im sure ill see you soon.

Look at me (2006)

Look at me, the tears running across my cheeks

the smile on my face, hides the hurt in my eyes..

Look at me the laughs, the worry free smirks..are all lies..

 hands shaking, small breaths, teeth chattering...

Look at me, my heart is aching, my whole body is aching...

Look at me staring at you..

...But you do not look at me..

You look past me at another..

...eyes full of confusion..

..fist clinched, goose bumps run up my arms..

Look at me..heart beats faster..

Eyes wide,my head feels light..

Look at me..as i fall to my knees..

Look at me..because i can no longer look at you..

Look at me..it will be your last chance if you do...

Sick of it all. (2004)

Silently she sits on the floor...
Bleeding.BLEEDING she crys for more..
Her wrists slit, the blood runs swiftly..
Her eyes closed praying."oh death take my eyes"
She lifts her arms the blood runs down..
She sheds a tear, it takes one to drowned.
Her eyes are glazed from her cocaine high..
Today is the day she wanted to die..
Her life is hell,so low and cold..
She tried to fight, be brave and bold..
she gave in and the demons took over..
Look at her now, her life is over..
Her eyes still glazed from that cocaine high..
Today was the day that beautiful soul died.
Alone she silently left..
Her love to come in and see the mess..
Drop to his knees and scream and curse..
Take the blade and assume the worst..
He drops to her side, his wrists quiver..
The blood pools out, the body goes cold..
He wraps his arms around her..
Closes his eyes the demons won once more..
For another couple has came knocking on deaths door.